My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
