is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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