He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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