areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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