She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize