she smelled like a LAN party
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
