She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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