there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
