I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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