Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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