I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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