I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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