he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize