only if we run a train.
done.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
