Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
