you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
