I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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