I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
