..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
