I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
