I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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