im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
