The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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