Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
