Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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