every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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