Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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