She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
