we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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