Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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