The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize