Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
