it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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