I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
