we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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