he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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