Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize