you're like a bully in the Christmas story
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
