So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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