another moral hangover. fuck.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
