Small penises have feelings too.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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