What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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