note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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