I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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