i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They took my balls.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
