i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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