Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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