I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the day after is always just damage control
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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