In the future we'll all be gay
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
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but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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