Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
