I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
