That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
