You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize