omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
