Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
