you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
