Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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