Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
