she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
