my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
