if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
