My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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