I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
