Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
